sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
