is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize