you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
