I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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