Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
