You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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