Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
