I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
