jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
