I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
