He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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