the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
