Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
