so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
