no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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