Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
