she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
