I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
