Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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