I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
