ugly people sure do ruin things
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
