He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
do nipples grow back?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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