So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
