Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
