How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
