no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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