your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
