people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've blown a few things in my day
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize