they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
