hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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