Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
