The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
