sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
