This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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