everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
