He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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