A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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