So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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