GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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