Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
