So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize