I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
