you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
