is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
