isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
