so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There's always time for handjobs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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