wat bout pragnant strippers??
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Boobs are out for the taking
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
