yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
