I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
