Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need help removing her.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
