come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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