Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize