My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
