i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We got so high we made milksteak
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
