I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
