I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
